


Spider-dad and Dadpool

by Spideypoolhell



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, spideypool - Fandom
Genre: And Growing Up, M/M, Short Stories, Smut, Spideypool - Freeform, That's what this is about, and Ellie being an awesome daughter, and Ellie is their daughter, because Peter and Wade gotta keep the flames alive, even after being married for several years, imagine the Deadpool comics if Deadpool had married Spider-man instead of Shiklah, into an unruly teen, peter and Wade are married, super family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:48:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7910596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spideypoolhell/pseuds/Spideypoolhell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter and Wade are husbands and Ellie is their daughter. The Prestons and Aunt May also help raise Ellie as she navigates her teenage years. Short stories about Ellie growing up and Peter and Wade successfully keeping the romance alive in their marriage.</p><p>Wholesome family fluff contrasted with kinky spideypool smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Peter and Ellie

**Author's Note:**

> There really needs to be more cute fics of Wade and Peter as a married couple trying to raise Ellie, so voila. A lot of references to the canon comics will be thrown in here, if you catch something or wanna help me spin some canon marvel stories into Spideypool please do.

“Wade, where _are_ you?” Peter spoke haughtily into his cell phone.

“About to go save the world with the uncanny Avengers, boss! Sorry, but I don't think I'll make it home in time for dinner. I gotta go now, give E my love, love you too P.P!!!” Wade shouted into the phone, the sounds of a helicopter in the background.

“Don't call me P.P. Or I'll forget to mention how much I love and miss you,” Peter replied with icy sweetness.

“Bye, babe, miss you too!” Wade made kissy noises and the phone hung up.

“Guess it's just you and me tonight, Ellie.” Peter looked up to see Ellie sitting on a stool and leaning on the kitchen counter. She looked exasperated and was pouting. Peter's expression would have mirrored hers had he not found it funny to see his daughter looking just as fed up with Wade as he always did. He wondered if it was his influence or if Wade just caused this reaction in all people. Probably both, that and Ellie was almost a teenager.

Ellie made farting noises with her hand on her mouth to voice her disapproval.

“What, is hanging out with me all that bad?” Peter laughed.

“You're great, spider-dad, even though you torture me by making me do all my homework and then talk about quantum-physics like it's actually a cool thing.” Wade was always complaining that Peter's sass was rubbing off on Ellie, Peter would argue she had her own brand of sass.

“Hey, science is cool, don't fight me on this one! We got all your homework done, so now we can relax, or party, or whatever you wanna do.” Peter was always more excited to help Ellie do her homework than Ellie was to do it. Peter had a very different definition of fun than Ellie did.

Peter's enthusiasm for education was downright nerdy. Ellie would have been embarrassed by her dorky dad if it wasn't for the fact that he was Spider-man. Ellie begrudgingly became the star pupil in all her classes. Every single night, without fail, Peter would sit her down to 'hit the books' and study. Ellie couldn't decide if she liked being forced to do so much academic work. She did love spending time with her dad and she did like being a smart aleck that was always right. Ellie was often correcting teachers in her classes and the awe, fear, and respect it garnered from her classmates satisfied her greatly.

As if her school work wasn't enough to keep her busy, the amount of extra-curricular classes Peter had Ellie enrolled in outside of school was obscene. She took tai chi, tae kwon do, jujitsu, gymnastics, ballet, break-dancing and archery. Some of the classes had been her idea and then some of them had obviously been her dads'. Wade and Ellie learned fencing together as their father-daughter bonding activity while Peter and Ellie took a yoga class together. It was her favourite time to be with her spider-dad because the man couldn't relax unless someone was guiding him through his breathing. After yoga, Peter and Ellie would go out for smoothies and gossip as part of their ritual. In their relaxed state Ellie would open up and cheerfully talk about school, her friends, therapy sessions and everything else in her life to Peter. He would laugh at every story she told instead of throwing her his usual eyebrow raises when Ellie sometimes implied that she might have been doing something that wasn't a wise use of her time. Ellie wished Peter could be relaxed like that all the time rather than always pushing her to accomplish some new achievement.

On the way home from yoga Ellie got to listen to any music she wanted to in the car, which was nice since Peter was always trying to make her listen to music from the 50's, 60's and 70's while Wade gave her an overwhelming diet of 80's and 90's music. Sometimes Ellie just wanted to listen to modern day pop music so she actually knew what other people in her class were listening to. It was amazing to have Spider-man and Deadpool as her dads but she often felt disconnected from kids her own age.

“Dad, _why_ do I have to be enrolled in so many classes?” Ellie asked Peter all the time. This conversation in particular had taken place last week over Sunday dinner at the Preston's house with Wade and Aunt May also present.

“I just want you to have the opportunity to try everything, Ellie, if it gets to be too much you can drop a class, it's just, you're so talented at everything!” Peter was an unrelenting force of support, but sometimes it was too much for Ellie.

“Sometimes I just want to, y'know, have a normal life.” Ellie looked at her plate and sighed. Peter was the best dad she had ever had but he wasn't as fun as Wade. Wade would let her do anything she wanted. He would constantly slip comics and magical girl mangas into Ellie's school books and back pack, they were the oxygen she needed when she felt like she was drowning in a sea of boring school work. Ellie was only twelve, she didn't even have much homework to begin with and Peter was already taking her on trips to see universities and showing her all the programs they offered.

“Being normal is highly overrated, Ellie. You'll thank me when you're president of the world.” Peter paused while talking and then continued to eat his mashed potatoes.

“Well, _unlike you_ , maybe I don't want to feel responsible for the welfare of the entire planet.” Ellie voiced her words a little too loudly and enunciated them extra clearly.

Everyone at the dinner table was silent and staring at Peter and Ellie.

Aunt May was the first to speak. Everyone always listened to Aunt May with reverence, entranced by her gentle yet commanding voice. She was the key to understanding Peter Parker and his past and there wasn't anyone at the table who didn't find Spider-man and his secret identity fascinating.

“When Peter lost his parents he was around your age, Ellie. They were both brilliant scientists and they were always in teacher mode with Peter. Peter's never stopped wanting to be like his parents, Ellie, and now that you're his daughter he's trying to be just like the mother and father he loved so dearly. Which is far too many people to be at once, Peter, take it easy.” Aunt May smiled and put her hand on Peter's shoulder. Peter looked like he wanted to cry but he was still smiling.

“You and Ben were just as much of a father and mother to me,” Peter squeezed Aunt May's hand reassuringly.

“Yes, and to make matters worse Ben and I were always trying to keep you busy when you came to live with us because we didn't want you to dwell on your parent's death.”

“Yeah and I learned so much from you two! Ben taught me everything he learned from being a car mechanic and an electrician and you taught me so much about biology from being a nurse.”

“Don't forget I also taught you a lot about gardening, baking, and being a master at chess,” Aunt May huffed, “speaking of which, we should play chess sometime, I bet your skills are rusty.” Peter snorted.

“You're good at chess? Interesting,” Emily Preston smirked, intent on testing May on that statement in the near future, “I agree with May, Peter, you're a great dad but Ellie's also got Wade as a dad and me as her mom, you don't have to take on all the responsibility of raising her.”

“I'm her dad too!” Emily's husband Shane chimed in.

“Yes dear,” Emily smiled and rolled her eyes.

“Peter,” May continued, “you were a brilliant child, have always been brilliant, but you avoided having any friends when you were younger because intellectually you were worlds away from everyone else. Also, I have some worries about all the non-academic subjects you've been training Ellie in, like teaching her how to be a ninja.” Ellie laughed at this.

“Actually, I don't mind learning how to kick butt like my dads!” Ellie wanted to learn to be as strong and skilled as her favourite superheroes, she was more against all the school work Peter made her do, she'd rather be studying combat than books.

“Mm, I gotta say, I like knowing that Ellie is learning how to protect herself.” Emily rubbed her chin.

“Aunt May, I think you should try taking a class in martial arts. It's not like your life hasn't been put in danger multiple times from being related to me.” Peter said saucily and Aunt May guffawed.

“Remember that time I poisoned the chameleon when he tried to imitate you? I survived using smarts, Peter.” Aunt May retorted.

“Right, which is why I want Ellie to be as mentally and physically fit as possible so she has the best chances of surviving in this world!” Peter emphasized his words and everyone was silent again. Peter sighed, “Ellie, I'm sorry if I push you too hard but the first time we met there were people trying to kill you and I just worry. I worry too much, I know.” Peter looked down. Wade, who had been strangely silent and sitting beside Peter the whole time was holding one of Peter's hands with both of his.

“Peter, I know you want to be her world, but you can't. Becoming a world requires too much quantum-magical energy.” Wade kissed Peter's cheek and Peter sighed happily and let his head fall onto his husband's shoulder.

“I still think it's great that you help Ellie with her homework, Peter,” Emily spoke up, “I know Peter helps you complete your school work faster and then you feel relieved and accomplished to get it all taken care of and out of the way.” Emily directed her focus to Ellie.

“Yeah, but, y'know.... A little less school work would be nice... And I'd like to see my friends more...” Ellie said shyly

“Oh Ellie,” Peter began, “I'm sorry if I haven't let you spend enough time with your friends. I guess I just wanted... To be your best friend. You're going to be thirteen soon, you'll be a teenager and then hanging out with your dads will no longer be cool.” Peter said softly with Wade cuddling into him. Ellie smiled at her dads' flagrant display of affection.

“What? You'll always be cool Peter, you're Spider-man, you're the coolest!” Ellie practically sang.

“What? I thought I was the coolest?” Wade responded with mock offense.

“Chill Wade, we all know you're really the coolest.” Peter pecked Wade on the lips and Wade gave a low rumble in his throat only Peter could hear.

“Peter, I would like it if you and Wade didn't whisk Ellie away to Manhattan every weekend, I barely get to see her on my days off,” Emily said and crossed her arms.

“You're right, sorry Emily,” Peter said sheepishly.

“What? But my weekly New York City shopping trips...” Ellie protested. Ellie was popular at school for being the smartest girl with the most fashionable wardrobe, every girl envied her.

“You have too many clothes, Wade's senseless materialism is rubbing off on you and that needs to be curbed,” Emily said firmly. Wade stuck his tongue out at her, May nodded and Peter sighed.

“What? That's your favourite part of New York? What about all the museums, art galleries and science centers I took you to...” Peter 's voice faded as he spoke.

“Were awesome, but kinda more your thing, Peter,” Ellie couldn't help but say even though she could clearly see the disappointment on her dad's face.

“Alright, anything else we need to talk about or that needs to be addressed during my intervention hour?” Peter had just been lectured by everyone but he was still in good spirits. He didn't mind a little constructive criticism since he was always trying to improve himself.

“I want to quit ballet, I think it fosters an unhealthy body ideal in girls, and everyone is so cranky because they are all starving. Also, _you're_ the one that _really_ wants to take ballet, Peter.” Ellie spoke with all the assertiveness of an adult.

“Whaaaat,” Peter blushed furiously and everyone laughed.

“C'mon dad, you always get me to teach you what I've learned even though you're better than me. You've mastered pirouettes. How many can you do in a row?”

“Thirty.” Peter mumbled and hid his face in Wade's shoulder. His husband patted his back while the rest of his family kept chuckling.

“Peter would be fantastic at ballet!” Aunt May boomed supportively.

Wade soothed Peter. “Aw Petey, you'd make the best ballerina, I want to see you perform Spider Lake, and hey, if you ever need a partner for a pas de deux...” Wade lifted Peter's face to meet his eyes and kissed his husband deeply. Emily's sons snickered loudly, everyone else looked away while smiling.

“Ok, that's enough you two,” Emily brought everyone's attention back to finishing their dinner.

That was over a week ago. Ellie and Peter were turning over the conversation in their heads while sitting in the kitchen. Peter had been trying to be less involved with Ellie for the past week. Ellie hadn't exactly preferred it, she liked when Peter was confident, enthusiastic and overly interested in her life. It made her feel special.

“So, Wade's too busy avenging or whatever to join us, and since he usually makes dinner I was thinking we'd order take-out! We can eat whatever you want, Ellie, and you can do whatever you want to tonight, I won't bother you if you don't want your old man around.” Peter was always trying so hard to be the perfect dad for Ellie, his confidence has been a little shaken by his family's critiques and now he was overcompensating.

“But I thought we were gonna make brownies and watch a movie!” Ellie proclaimed.

“Yeah, but I need to stop making plans for everyone without asking if that's what they want to do,” Peter said more to himself than Ellie.

“I want to make brownies with my spider-dad and watch a movie,” Ellie said firmly.

“Ok then! Any thoughts on what we should have for dinner? I get the feeling we're both a little sick of Mexican.”

“Hmmm.... You know what I've been craving lately, pad thai, With spring rolls, and mango salad and those yummy avocado smoothies.”

“Here I thought you were gonna say pizza or burgers but I should have known my girl had more refined tastes,” Peter loved indulging Ellie, he wanted her to have the best of everything. Wade was even worse when it came to spoiling her.

Peter phoned in their order and then turned his attention to Ellie. “Okay, the time it will take for the food to get here should be enough time for us to mix together the ingredients for the brownies and pop it in the oven. I have a surprise, tonight we're gonna make... Blood brownies! That's right, brownies with blood in them.”

“Ew, is this because dad said you weren't hardcore?” Ellie stuck out her tongue.

“Yes, that's why we're going to make the brownies using the blood of my enemies.” Peter tried to sound venomous but he was holding in his laughter.

“Really!?!?” Ellie said excitedly.

“No, it's just cow's blood that I got from a butcher shop. So, blood brownies are made in Scandinavian countries, places like Finland where cooking with blood is more common. Blood pancakes are also a thing but I wouldn't make those without Wade since it combines his two favourite things.”

Peter got out the recipe and they measured all the dry and wet ingredients. Peter let Ellie happily pour the blood into a measuring cup and whisk all the ingredients together while he greased a baking pan They poured in the brownie mixture and popped it in the oven right as they heard the doorbell, timed perfectly just like Peter said.

They shared their food, not bothering with plates and eating straight out of the take-out containers.

“So, what movie do you wanna watch?” Peter asked.

“Well, I was thinking, since you and Wade read Coraline to me we could watch the movie,” Ellie spoke between bites. Ellie loved Neil Gaiman's writing, she could read books on her own but ever since she became Peter and Wade's daughter they loved reading to her and she loved hearing the stupid character voices they'd make too much to stop them.

“I was actually thinking the exact same thing,” which was true because Peter always insisted that Ellie read the books movies were based on before watching the movies so she could form her own mental images of the story and characters.

“That's because great minds think alike,” Ellie replied. Peter smiled dotingly.

After they had finished their food and cleaned up the brownies were ready to be taken out of the oven. Peter told Ellie they had too cool otherwise the hot blood would offset the texture. Ellie wasn't so sure she wanted to eat them anymore but she was too curious not to.

“I'm gonna have strawberry milk with my blood brownies, I feel like that it will be the perfect beverage to pair with it,” Ellie said while reaching into the fridge.

“That sounds like a really good idea but I'm going to eat my brownie with a glass of red wine.” Peter opened a nearby wine bottle.

“I thought you didn't like alcohol, dad,” Ellie smirked.

“I don't, but my doctor said I should try and drink a glass of red wine every now and then to reduce my blood pressure and cholesterol. You'll understand one day when you're older.” Soon the brownies cooled down and Peter and Ellie took their first bites. They tasted like dark chocolate with a bit of a metallic twang.

“They're OK...” Peter mused.

“They aren't bad at all. Next time though, can we make banana brownies?” Ellie took a swig of her strawberry milk with her mouth full of brownies.

“Yes, absolutely, that's a way better idea. I hope Wade likes them because I think one is enough for me. Hopefully he's not sad I didn't ask to use his blood for the recipe.”

“He'll live, he always does. So, movie time?”

“Movie time. Let's put on some comfy pajamas. Get your giant, Wade-sized Deadpool plushie and plop him in the middle of the couch. Do you want popcorn or are you too full?”

“I always want popcorn,” Ellie grinned, she was a popcorn fiend.

Peter and Ellie spent the next couple of hours cuddled up with a huge, stuffed Deadpool between them watching Coraline and lazily eating from the bowl of popcorn on plushie Wade's lap.

After the movie ended Peter had to ask, “Ellie, you don't think I'm like that evil, spidery, demon mom in Coraline that wants to alter her child and sew black buttons over her eyes, do you?”

 “No. That character wasn't actually her mom though, she was just a straight-up demon. You aren't a demon, Peter. You're a hero, spider powers and all. You're my hero and Wade's.” Peter felt his heart melt and pride swell at hearing his daughter's praise.

“Thanks Ellie, I just want you to know that... I know I can be a bit of an obsessive compulsive perfectionist sometimes, but I don't hold anyone except myself up to my impossibly high standards... And, I want you to know that you never have to feel the need to try to _be_ perfect because you already _are_ perfect.”

“AW, I love you, dad," Ellie hugged Peter.

“Love you too, Ellie belly,” Peter hugged Ellie and kissed the top of her head, “now it's time for bed, let's go brush our teeth.” Peter gave Ellie a piggy-back ride upstairs and they brushed their teeth. After Peter tucked Ellie into bed, he grabbed a book he had stashed on top of her bookshelf.

“I got you Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at The End of the Lane, it also has a scary, witchy mother-figure, it's kind of a trope in Neil's work. I know you're old enough to read on your own now, so I'll let you stay up reading for a bit if you'd like. I'll come check on you in an hour or so to make sure you don't fall asleep with your lights on.”

“Thanks dad, but maybe you and dadpool could read it to me tomorrow night before bed? Can I stay up for a bit and read my teen vogue magazine instead?” Ellie took the magazine hiding under her bed and waved it in front of Peter.

“I guess,” Peter grimaced, “you aren't technically a teen yet, though.”

“How am I supposed to know how to be a teenager unless I study for it?” Ellie laughed.

“Trust me, there are some things you don't have to study for.” Peter smiled.

“That's a lie and you know it,” They both laughed. “ Hey Peter, I just want to tell you... That you're already perfect too, and the best parent I've ever had. Please don't tell my other parents that, Wade will poop himself. I think my mother's ghost is probably glaring at you too, sorry dead mom.” Peter laughed and almost cried because Ellie was so perfectly sweet sometimes.

“You're better than any daughter I could ask for.” Peter did cry then, just a little, but he quickly hid it.

“Y'know dad, don't let it get to your head but you're a really good teacher. Have you ever thought of being a teacher instead of a CEO?”

“If I quit my day job I think I would like to do exactly that.” Peter got up to leave. “Don't stay up too late, Ellie. School tomorrow. Night, my girl.”

“Night, dad.”

Peter left the room and closed Ellie's door behind him.

Peter went to go draw a bath for himself and retrieved his cell phone to text Wade 'when are you coming home?'. When Peter was ten minutes into soaking in the tub he got a response: 'on my way, wifey'.

'Good, because I'm soaping up my naked body in the bath and my mind keeps wandering to thoughts of my sexy husband' Peter hit send. '5 minutes' was Wade's last text. Five minutes to the dot he heard Wade burst into their house downstairs.

“Daddy's home!” Wade yelled loud enough for Peter to hear in the bathroom.

“Dadpool!” Peter could hear Ellie shout. Peter sighed, getting out of the tub and quickly toweling himself off and throwing on Wade's pink, fluffy bathrobe hanging from the door.

“What's all this ruckus about?” Peter said with a huge smile when he walked into the living room and saw Wade hugging Ellie, Peter's hair was as damp and messy as Deadpool's suit, albeit in a clean way rather than the dirt Wade was smeared in. “I'm glad to see you kept all your limbs intact.” Peter walked over and picked up Wade in his arms who had already picked up Ellie. Ellie and Wade shrieked and giggled madly as Peter lifted them both up into the air like they weighed nothing. Peter carried Wade over to the sofa and dropped him down on top of the enormous Deadpool plushie, Ellie fell on top of Wade and then sat down on his stomach. “Hope all your blood stains are dry, I hate having to constantly clean the couch.”

“That's why all our furniture is _red_ , sweetie.” Wade was sprawled on the sofa, Peter kneeled onto the floor and leaned over to give Wade a chaste kiss.

“So what did you save the world from, dad? Aliens, robots, or alien robots?” Ellie got off her dad and sat on the floor next to Peter, hoping for a story.

“Nothing so fancy, just your run-of-the-mill biological warfare,” Wade's stomach growled loudly, “say, you two didn't save any food for your dear, old dad, did you?”

“Sorry Wade, I thought you'd grab a quick victory happy meal with your comrades or something, but, I have this leftover popcorn,” Peter grabbed the bucket of half-finished popcorn that he had placed on the side table and Wade happily shoveled it into his mouth.

“And we made you special brownies!” Ellie chipped in.

“ _Special_ brownies? Peter, our daughter is only twelve, I think she's too young for that.” Wade laughed with his mouth full of popcorn as Peter smacked him gently and Ellie was genuinely confused. “So did you two watch a movie?”

“Yeah, we watched Coraline,” Ellie answered.

“Was it as good as the book?”

“Nah, but the animation was pretty awesome. The book's still better.. Imma get you a brownie, dad!” Ellie rushed off to the kitchen and returned a moment later with a brownie on a plate. “You have to guess what the special ingredient is!”

Wade took a bite, “is it.... Blood? Not bad.”

“Bingo! Of course you would know, you're a blood connoisseur!” Ellie said and sat next to Wade and Peter who had changed positions to sit next to each other on the couch, the gigantic Deadpool plushie was thrown to the floor since Wade was sometimes legitimately jealous of that thing.

“I hope you like it, Wade, because to be honest one was enough for Ellie and I.” Peter said sleepily while rubbing his eyes, “Ellie, it's past midnight, you have school tomorrow and gotta go to bed.”

“I'm too excited to sleep now,” Ellie whined.

“I'm going to make you a warm drink then, some milk heated up with a pinch of sugar and vanilla extract.” Peter got up.

“Can you make me one too, Petey?” Wade asked in a syrupy, sweet voice.

“Yes, dear,” Peter replied in a happy but tired voice. They went to go sit in the kitchen while Wade ate all the brownies and told them about his adventurous day. They all drank warm, vanilla milk. “Ok, Ellie, it's time for bed child,” Peter said when all the brownies were demolished and Wade's story was at an end. Peter stood up hazily and Ellie put her feet on top of Peter's, willing him to make him walk both of them, Wade gaily trailed behind them.

“I brought this upstairs for you to cuddle with.” Wade gave Ellie the huge Deadpool plushie as Peter tucked her back in bed.

“Dadpool, can you sing me a lullaby? Specifically the song lullaby by The Cure.” Ellie said drowsily.

“Always.”

“No. You'll give her nightmares.” Peter's voice was stern.

“Chill, Petey, it's OK,” Ellie said quietly. Peter didn't protest but he desperately wanted to.

Wade sang as slowly and softly as he could in his deep, scratchy, Leonard Cohen like voice:

“ _On candy stripe legs the spiderman comes_  
_Softly through the shadow of the evening sun_  
_Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead_  
_Looking for the victim shivering in bed_  
_Searching out fear in the gathering gloom and suddenly!_  
_A movement in the corner of the room!_  
_And there is nothing I can do_  
_When I realize with fright_  
_That the spiderman is having me for dinner tonight..._

 _Quietly he laughs and shaking his head_  
_Creeps closer now_  
_Closer to the foot of the bed_  
_And softer than shadow_  
_And quicker than flies_  
_His arms are all around me and his tongue in my eyes_  
_"Be still be calm be quiet now my precious boy_  
_Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more_  
_For it's much too late to get away or turn on the light_  
_The spiderman is having you for dinner tonight"_

 _And I feel like I'm being eaten_  
_By a thousand million shivering furry holes_  
_And I know that in the morning_  
_I will wake up in the shivering cold_  
_And the spiderman is always hungry._..”

Ellie was fast asleep and snoring. Peter turned her light off and grabbed Wade's hand to stealthily sneak them out of Ellie's room, gently closing her bedroom door behind them.

“I can't believe that worked,” Peter whispered victoriously.

“I know, especially since it's a very accurate and pornographic description of my life,” Wade whispered back. Peter sighed.

“Go have a shower and brush your teeth, then you can come cuddle your spider in bed,” Peter walked away. Wade let him walk half-way down the hall before grabbing Peter's arm and pulling him close.

“Petey, come shower with me, I need you, you know how worked up I get when I save the world.” Wade's mask was off and he was kissing Peter's neck tenderly. Wade knew Peter was helpless for neck kisses and never stopped using it to his advantage.

“Alright, husband. Or should I call you my _hero_ ,” Peter said in a low whisper. Wade groaned.

“Fuck, Peter, you know how horny it makes me when you use the H-word.” Wade dragged Peter into the bathroom and locked the door behind them.

“Is the H-word husband or hero?” Peter dropped Wade's fluffy, pink bathrobe, revealing his naked body in one smooth motion.

“Both.” Wade practically moaned while ripping off his own clothes. Peter bent over to turn the shower on and Wade was already grabbing at his ass. Peter stepped into the shower with Wade eagerly jumping in after him. Peter let Wade feel the blast of the hot water since he had already had a bath an hour ago. Wade was so engaged in passionately kissing Peter's face that it was a struggle for the shorter man to reach for the soap, he wished momentarily that he had his web shooters on. Eventually, he managed to grab a bar of lemon soap. Peter lovingly washed all of Wade's body, running his hands over his scars and occasionally squeezing Wade's rapidly hardening cock. Wade turned Peter around, rubbing his soapy body all over Peter's back and running his erection between Peter's ass cheeks and in between his legs so his dick could slide against Peter's thighs and balls. Peter moaned as Wade reached around to teasingly rub soap all over Peter's chest, pinching his nipples and working his way down to tug at Peter's stiffening prick.

Peter turned around so their wet, soapy dicks could rub each other. They grabbed each other's asses and pulled each other in for a long kiss. Wade reached around to tease at Peter's hole with his finger and Peter did the same to Wade,

“You wanna play with my ass or do you want me to play with yours, _husband_?” Wade growled into Peter's ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

“Actually, I have something very specific in mind. Do you want me to tell you or do you want to wait for me to show you once we're in bed?” Peter spoke in a husky voice.

“Tell me,” Wade whimpered. Peter's way of dirty talking was to simply tell Wade all his sexy ideas of the things he wanted to do with his husband.

Peter slid a soapy finger into Wade's ass. “I want to eat your ass out while you eat mine out at the same time.”

“Fuck, rim job 69, sign me the fuck up,” Wade gasped.

“Then I want us to suck each other's dicks while we finger each other's holes at the same time, maybe we could even fuck each other with some toys while swallowing down each other's cocks.” Wade had also stuck a finger up Peter's ass and was pushing it around, their dicks grinded against each other and ached for release. Then Peter broke their contact by switching their places in the shower and washed the soap off his body. He quickly exited the shower, making Wade whine as he left him desperately horny.

“Brush your teeth, I'll go gather our toys. See you in our bed in one minute.” Peter toweled himself off. For the rest of the night, they did all the things Peter had described before happily falling asleep in each other's arms.


	2. F-ing and Fashion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut and fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some kinky sex (auto-fellatio).

“Peter, lookie here what I bought!” Ellie stood in the hall listening to her fathers talk in their bedroom.

“Did you pretend to take Ellie bra shopping again just so you could buy bras for yourself? Stop throwing your bras at me!” Ellie realized her dad had gone shopping without her and was disappointed.

“I didn't take Ellie shopping with me this time,” came out Wade's demure voice. Ellie leaned closer to the slightly open door of their room.

“Oh. Oh, look at this.” Ellie wasn't sure if she should keep listening or not, she was afraid she would hear something that would disturb her for life; her curiosity and amusement always got the better of her.

“This is the grossest, pukiest shade of green I've ever seen. I mean, I know you can pull off every colour but what possessed you to buy this?” Peter laughed.

“I had to get a bra in every colour of the rainbow and that was the only green bra they had!” Wade defended. “Yeah, maybe I buy too much stuff. Maybe I should just throw it out.”

“Hey now, you can always return it if you don't like it. Also, the other bras are cute, and you know I support you buying women's undergarments,” a pause, “but you also know I prefer you not wearing anything at all,” Peter crooned. Wade giggled.

“EW!” Ellie opened the door and laughed at her dads' shocked faces. 

“How long were you listening, young lady?” Peter commanded in his most fatherly voice, which wasn't very harsh at all since he found it impossible to be upset with Ellie.

“Long enough that I'll accept bribes to pretend I didn't hear any of that,” Ellie smiled and jumped on the bed beside all the scattered bras. “This bra isn't that bad, Peter,” Ellie held up the green bra and inspected it, “can I borrow this?”

“I don't think you're your father's cup size yet, dearie.” Ellie smacked Wade's shoulder lightly.

“I wanna see if I can make it look pretty! Give me an hour alone in my bedroom to get crafty and I'll see what I can do.” Ellie cherished any time she could be alone since she rarely was, her time was always split between her two families: Spiderdadpool and the Prestons.

Wade fished for something from his pocket. “Here's fifty dollars, make it two solid hours and blast music on your headphones,” Wade wasn't above bribes.

“Wade,” Peter said in a warning voice.

“Yoo-pie! I'm getting paid to make art and listen to music!” Ellie ran off happily.

“Relax, it's Saturday.” Wade threw the bras aside and grabbed Peter down onto the bed with him.

“Exactly, it's Saturday afternoon, I feel like we should be out and doing something,” Peter kissed his husband's nose.

“Which is why we all need a lazy weekend afternoon. C'mon, when was the last time you and I had a sunny Saturday afternoon all to ourselves? Wade held Peter's shoulder's and peppered kisses along his neck. Peter sighed and let himself give in to Wade's desires.

“Wade, go close the bedroom door,” Peter ordered.

“Yes, boss!” Wade bounced up excitedly to close their bedroom door. “You want me to model these bras for you?”

“Yes. One at a time, but get naked first.” Peter grinned and hastily threw his own clothes off at the same time as Wade. Peter laughed as Wade posed dramatically in each of his bras. Wade would throw them off in Peter's direction and Peter tried on a few of them himself for Wade's amusement.

“I know you like the colour red best,” Wade cooed as he crawled onto the bed over Peter with a red bra on.

“You wanna leave this on or can I rip it off you?” Peter slid his hands under Wade's bra to grope his pecs and fondle his nipples. Wade squirmed and whined a little.

“Rip it off,” Wade growled. Peter hooked a finger under the front middle part of Wade's bra and tore it off him, throwing it off to the side.

“Come under the covers with me,” Peter whispered, he pulled the blankets over both of them and made Wade rest his weight on him, loving the heavy feeling. “Grind me into the bed.” Wade did as he was ordered, rocking his naked body and swollen dick up against Peters'. Peter wanted to kiss Wade but the larger man was too busy kissing and nibbling Peter's neck,

“Mmm, Peter, you wanna fuck me, baby?” Wade's voice rumbled quietly against Peter's ear before biting his earlobe gently.

“Yes,” Peter gasped, rutting his hips up against Wade's.

“Well that's too bad because I need to fuck your ass right now,” Wade planted kisses along Peter's collarbone.

“But Wade,” Peter whined.

“But Peter,” Wade whined back, “I only get to visit your spider cave once a week, that's not nearly enough,” Wade pouted, tracing his fingers down Peter's muscles.

“I know, I just like to take my time getting stretched and you're always ready to get your hole filled right away. Also, you know how much I love it when you ride me,” Wade was sitting up now but Peter was grabbing Wade's ass and holding his hips down, moving them in small, little circles as he tried to get some friction between their cocks. 

Wade could work his ass open for Peter to fuck in mere seconds if he wanted to. Wade would often just coat his hole and Peter's dick with lube and line them up without any prep to his ass. The ex-merc was still a bit of a masochist and enjoyed the searing pain that would shoot through him as Peter entered his incredibly tight hole. After fifteen seconds the agony would subside and a huge flood of relief and pleasure would wash over Wade as his healing factor kicked in and he felt perfectly blissful with Peter inside him.

Being a father, husband, CEO and Spider-man left Peter extra tired these days. Wade and Peter had fallen into a routine of Wade climbing on top of his exhausted husband every night, kissing and sucking Peter's dick to life and then riding him. However, Wade would usually bring Peter to the edge and then jump off and get Peter to fuck him in a bunch of different positions. Peter would be so tired afterwards, he'd fall asleep ten seconds after coming. Then Wade would lovingly stroke Peter's hair and fall asleep curled up next to him.

Wade grabbed the lube before getting back to work, he resumed kissing his way down Peter's stomach and eagerly swallowed his husband's cock.

“Mm, Wade, be gentle with me,” Peter said in his daintiest of voices, trying not to laugh at himself before gasping as a lubed up finger was suddenly inserted in him.

“I can't make any promises,” Wade licked his way up Peter's shaft and sucked on the head of his penis, moving his lips down and bobbing his head over Peter's cock. Peter gently grazed his fingertips over Wade's bald head, petting him lovingly. Wade slipped in another lubed finger and Peter had to cover his mouth from making a loud noise as he felt his prostate being poked at. Wade had his middle and ring finger curled inside Peter and was making the same movements with his fingers that Peter did when he was shooting his webs.

“Mmm, Wade, this is my favourite, your mouth and hands are sooo good,” Peter whined quietly as Wade used his free hand to spread one of Peter's legs open and lift his ass in the air.

“Mmmhmm,” Wade hummed with Peter's dick in his mouth. He popped his mouth off and sucked at the base of Peter's cock before sucking his balls and adding a third finger. 

Wade tore his mouth away, “I want you to beg me to fuck you, Peter,” he growled out, letting his hot breath ghost over Peter's wet, erect cock. Wade only gave Peter's penis small kisses and licks as Peter spent a few minutes fucking himself on Wade's fingers, Wade added a fourth finger.

“Please, Wade, please fuck me. Fuck me, Wade,” Peter babbled pleadingly.

“As you wish, boss,” Wade purred, removing his fingers and stretching Peter's legs wide. Wade made Peter rub lube all over his cock before lining himself up against Peter's hole. Wade slowly pushed his hard dick into him. Peter urged Wade down to kiss him so he could moan into his mouth as Wade thrust himself into Peter with increasing speed.

“Mm, Petey, you feel so good, need to fuck you more,” Wade breathed before clamping his teeth into Peter's neck. Peter moaned softly as he wrapped his legs around Wade and bucked his hips into the air, trying to rub his erection against Wade's muscular stomach.

Wade kissed Peter tenderly and then pulled away. “Feeling bendy today, Petey?” 

“Why? Oh- OK, so I guess we're doing this.” Wade had pulled himself out of Peter and was gently lifting Peter's hips high up into the air, folding him slowly in half. Peter grabbed his legs back and let Wade spread him wide.

“Oh, yes, you know this is my favourite thing to watch,” Wade pushed the tip of Peter's dick into Peter's mouth, almost coming at the sight alone. Peter lowered his eyelids and swirled his tongue around his own cock. Wade entered Peter again, pounding him without any self-control, the movements forcing Peter's head down his cock. Peter gagged on his own cock, face incredibly red from embarrassment and arousal. Wade groaned and then was suddenly shooting his seed inside Peter.

“Stay like that,” Wade gasped. After his dick had finished pulsing inside of Peter he pulled himself out, quickly gathering any cum that ran out with his fingers. He slid three fingers inside Peter's ass, working them in circles against Peter's prostate.

Peter was so close, he was viciously sucking the tip of his cock, face beet red with an almost pained expression. Wade licked his tongue up Peter's balls and over Peter's length while fucking his fingers inside Peter's cum filled ass. Peter gasped around his dick as his orgasm burst out of him, trying to choke out his moans with his own cock as he came in his mouth with Wade licking his shaft.

Peter threw his head back, popping his mouth off his dick and gasping for some much-needed air. Wade leaned over to give him a deep kiss and tried to lick the cum out of Peter's mouth. Peter giggled as Wade licked into his mouth before Wade gently uncurled his body. Wade grabbed a wad of tissues from a nearby night stand to wipe off his hand and then unceremoniously shoved the tissues between Peter's cheeks so cum wouldn't leak all over the bed.

“Damn, that was so kinky,” Peter was still trying to catch his breathe as Wade threw the covers back over them and nuzzled his face into Peter's chest.

“Mmm, I love watching you suck yourself off. God damn, it is so fucking hot.” Peter gently scratched Wade's back causing the bigger man to shiver. Peter could feel Wade pressing his erection into his leg.

“Still horny, huh?” Peter smirked. 

“Yes, should I take care of it?” Wade sat up.

Peter got up and turned around, getting on his hands and knees. “Make it hard and fast, I can take it.” Peter's hole was still loose from being fucked and he was going to make the best of it.

Wade burst into laughter as he caught the sight of a wad of kleenex still bunched up in Peter's ass. Peter laughed, feeling embarrassed until he heard the sound of lube squirting and the feel of Wade throwing away the tissue and driving his cock almost painfully into Peter's ass. Peter gasped loudly and buried his head into his pillow to keep from shouting. Wade grabbed his hips and fucked him hard for a few minutes before coming again inside Peter, grunting back his moans. Wade kissed Peter's back and then bonelessly fell on Peter. Peter flipped them both over, making Wade whine as his penis came out of him with a slurp.

“Oh, so now you're horny again too,” Wade wiggled his hairless brow while watching Peter's erection bounced around as Peter flopped onto his back.

“S'what you do to me, babe,” Peter was still catching his breath.

“Lucky for you I have a limitless amount of energy. And semen.” Wade straddled Peter and grabbed the lube, quickly working himself open with his fingers. He grabbed Peter's hard cock and sat on it, burying it inside himself and pinning Peter down with his weight. Peter squirmed as Wade circled his hips into Peter, dick fully sheathed inside him. He leaned over to kiss Peter's mouth and neck, making his husband hum happily. When Wade sat upright again his dick was fully hard.

“Aaah, touch yourself for me, please Wade,” Peter whimpered. He grabbed onto Wade's thighs, thrusting his dick up into him. Wade grabbed his cock and jerked himself to the rhythm of Peter's thrusting. 

Peter's eyes intently watched Wade stroke himself and he let his hips move of their own accord. Wade slammed his ass back down into Peter with considerable force, knocking the breathe out of the younger man. Wade rode Peter hard until they were both sweaty, gasping messes.

“Ahh, Wade, I'm gonna cum, hold my neck,” Peter begged. Wade used his free hand to lovingly squeeze Peter's neck and came at the same time as him, biting his lip until it bled so he wouldn't scream.

Wade fell on top of Peter, they curled up against each other, a messy tangle of limbs.

“OK, are we satisfied yet?” Peter chuckled as he tried his best to reach for more tissues to clean themselves. 

“For now,” Wade hugged him tightly. Peter was so spent he fell asleep almost instantly. Luckily Wade's tremendous healing factor kept him awake. He let Peter sleep for a bit, throwing on a robe to have a quick shower and got dressed into his Deadpool pants and a white t-shirt with Spider-man on it. “C'mon babe, wake up,” Wade shook Peter, “Ellie will want to show us what's she been up to soon."

Peter robotically got up, eyes still shut and bleary. Wade threw some clothes at him. Before he knew it Peter was dressed in a delicate, black dress and a red, flowy cardigan.

“Oh, I see what you did there,” Peter stood up and checked himself out in the mirror. “Well, I gotta say, this feels really comfortable.” Wade was throwing open the windows and sprayed some cologne so the smell of sex in the room wasn't so obvious.

“Hell yes, look how sexy you are, my beautiful wife,” Wade grabbed Peter and dipped him into a kiss. A few minutes later they heard Ellie knocking on their door.

“Dads! Look what I made!” Ellie proudly showed them her creation as Wade opened their bedroom door. Ellie had hundreds of fake flowers she used to decorate her room; so she had used a rainbow of different fake flowers and hot-glued them all over the green bra Peter had originally declared as ugly.

“OH, it's SOOO pretty, Ellie, I'm gonna wear it right now!” Wade threw off his shirt and put the flowery bra on.

“That looks awesome, Ellie!” Peter praised.

“You look awesome too, spider-dad, nice dress!” Ellie gave a thumbs up and Peter looked down at himself and blushed.

“OK, but what should I wear with it? These pants aren't working.” Wade scrutinized himself in the mirror.

“I'm thinking some sort of long hippie or gypsy skirt. Or maybe some high-waisted jean short-shorts, and a motorcycle jacket.” Ellie loved to wear leather bike jackets, which was her signature look since she liked to feel bad ass. 

“Give me one moment!' Wade dove into his walk-in closet and returned a moment later wearing blue-jean shorts and a studded leather jacket. “Wadda ya think?”

“You look so good! Let's go into the backyard, I wanna take some pictures of you with my camera for my fashion blog!” Ellie grabbed Wade's hand. 

“Hey, that's my husband's body you're showing off!” Peter hurried after them. Wade and Ellie laughed.

“Ease up, Pete. Maybe I should a roll a joint out of cat-nip to chill you out and get the creative vibes flowing,” Wade teased as Ellie dragged him away.

“Oh, shut it, Wade.” Peter groaned but couldn't help but laugh. He loved his family so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone knows any details about the tech Peter uses in the Spider-man comics please share! CEO spider-dad doling out the latest technology to his family will be in the next chap.


End file.
